Iamsuperhuman

Monday, October 21, 2024

Guilt, Lies, and the Shadows of Past Trauma Posted at October 21, 2024 0 comments (+)

I feel like a terrible person. It's like I'm adding fuel to a fire that's already burning, only making things worse.

I feel like I'm not a good casual friend to the people around me. I admit, I've been a bit of a snitch, making fun of a certain friend and sharing his words with others. I know it's a bad habit and not the right way to treat anyone. It's definitely a toxic trait, and I realize it's something I need to work on. Sometimes I do it without even thinking, just to have something to talk about, but I know that's not an excuse. lol

On my part, when I give advice, it’s always genuine and comes from a place of honesty and concern. My advice to Leisan comes from truly concern about him, but he’s been lying and even has the nerve to say the complete opposite of what he originally said. It’s frustrating when he twists the truth like that.

It's not really about me, but more about the things Leisan said to Mike, which turned out to be completely different from his version of the story. Initially, I didn’t know who to believe—it was his word against Mike’s. But Mike had documented his side, making it clear that Leisan was lying.

What I’ve taken away from this is that people can lie right under your nose, without even realizing that the truth might come to light eventually. And knowing Leisan, his words have always been fake. The history of all his past statements completely contradicts what he’s saying now, making everything he said before totally invalid. It’s like all his past words fall apart once you realize the truth.

Leisan has never done anything horrible to me, in fact, he’s actually a nice guy to me (although I’m not sure behind me lol), though sometimes he can be a bit full of himself and seems obsessed with money. Just today, he shared a story about his teenage years during college. He was struggling financially, working outside his field, and couldn't pay his tuition fees. As a result, his school withheld his credentials, preventing him from taking the board exam. That’s really sad. He was also mistreated by his relatives, and I guess his tough upbringing shaped who he is today.

He seems terrified of being penniless again, to the point that he hoards cash—literally thousands of dollars, chained to his wallet, which is attached to his waist. It’s extreme. The way he talks to people can be really offensive sometimes. But I’m trying to see it as a lesson: people become who they are because of their past experiences, and I realize that who I am today is also a reflection of the trauma I’ve experienced in my own life.

Labels: friendship, maldives, trauma