I'm currently in Sri Lanka. A few hours ago, I had my US Embassy interview, but unfortunately, I didn't receive approval. Rejection has consistently been a part of my life, and honestly, I'm tired of facing disappointments and failures. While I can bounce back quickly, a part of me is disheartened by circumstances beyond my control.

The absence of the hoped-for visa saddens me, as I was anticipating a positive turn of events—a consolation for the heartbreak, hard work, and stress I've experienced in recent months. I had high hopes for this US visa, but it seems it wasn't meant for me.

From the rejection of the Poland visa to the challenges with the NCLEX, and now this US Visa, I can't help but feel defeated by the string of setbacks. Although this US visa was just an attempt, a shot in the dark, I wanted to push my luck, knowing I wouldn't find out if I didn't try. Despite this, I'm still hopeful.

At this moment, I'm uncertain about my emotions. I'm gazing at myself in the mirror, contemplating what I should be feeling. I'm not extremely sad, but I'm still upset and regretful. There's a lingering frustration, wondering if there was something I missed in my application. Seriously, this is so frustrating. LOL.

But on the other hand I’m so happy to finally purchase a ruby stone. I just bought a ring with ruby and pendant that supposed to be for my mom but the yesterday I just bought her birth stone and earing for Mary, I could help not to buy it since it was sales, my gosh I’m spending so much money here

There are things that I will be thankful like I’m able to visit Sri Lanka, and enjoy this kind of privilege that although not all the time the universe is on my favor but still the blessing and wonderful thing are still having on my life. Another chapter and experience that I can share and treasure.

Life can be a real tough cookie, you know? It's like this crazy roller coaster of emotions and battles every single day. Just last week, I found myself under immense stress due to work issues, ultimately leading to my decision to resign. I am still grappling with the implications of that choice.

Looking ahead, I'm crossing my fingers that next year will bring me that shiny US license. It's not just about a piece of paper; it's about holding onto my pride and proving to myself that I've got what it takes.

But here's the thing—I keep telling myself to chill, to not let the pressure get to me. Easier said than done, though. There are moments, like the recent ones, where the stress just hits different. The plans I'm cooking up right now? They're basically the blueprint for my future, and let me tell you, it's a real struggle not to let the pressure mess with my head. Trying to find that balance? It's a journey,

I dozed off while writing in this journal, experiencing that peculiar state where you're both asleep and awake simultaneously. As I started to process what happened, the reality began to sink in. Although I'm still feeling awful, there's a sense of acknowledgment.

My manager inquired about my return, and I asked whether an immediate office return was necessary. I'm hoping I can take a few more days off—I really need the time to focus on intense studying. It's a return to the original plan LOL

My life has been incredibly stressful lately. I need a moment to reflect, let everything sink in, and get back on track.

Labels: Sri Lanka, thoughts, Visa