More Than I Deserve? Posted at May 07, 2025 0 comments (+)

An unexpected blessing came my way, something I never imagined, not even in my wildest dreams

Lately, I’ve been struggling at work. Most days, I feel like I’m just here, doing nothing meaningful. It’s like I’m a wallflower easily overlooked, easily replaced. There are moments I doubt myself, feeling like I’m not good at what I do, not the best at anything, and lacking the qualities of a truly great employee. Honestly, I’ve felt bored, disconnected, and even resentful toward my job. I get easily irritated by people around me, and the thought of quitting, moving out, or going back to Singapore or even trying the UAE again crosses my mind more often than I’d
like to admit.

And then on the most random, ordinary day, without any warning I received a bonus. I couldn’t believe it. I mean, considering how little I feel I contribute, it almost felt undeserved. I was overwhelmed happy, yes but also confused and even a bit embarrassed. I’ve been sitting here collecting a paycheck each month, feeling like I’m not really earning it, and that doesn’t sit well with me.

I’m grateful, truly. But at the same time, I’m wrestling with a lot of mixed emotions.

Labels: job, maldives, work

How Selfish Posted at April 30, 2025 0 comments (+)

Honestly, it’s been really frustrating dealing with a colleague who keeps making things harder than they need to be especially over something that wasn’t even my responsibility to begin with. I only got involved because I’m the one communicating directly with the client, so I naturally want things to go smoothly.

I already understand how the sponsorship process works he actually explained it the other day. But honestly, that conversation should’ve happened a long time ago. I even sent an email weeks ago about the sponsorship, and he never mentioned that I needed a specific letter for documentation. Now he’s bringing it up when it’s already too late to act on it properly.

What’s tough is that I’m the one dealing with the client, and I don’t want to feel them that were ignoring them. Amila really gets under my skin sometimes he acts like he doesn’t want to help, and it comes off as selfish. I get that he doesn’t want to be too involved in the financial stuff, and that’s fine, but is it really too much to ask for a little heads-up or support?

He had the information way before I did. Things like printing the letter, getting it signed, and placing it on the right desk should really fall under his role in the accounting department. It just feels unfair to be left to figure things out last minute when it could’ve been a quick handoff if there had been better communication. 

Labels: maldives, rant, work

When Saying No Isn’t Really an Option Posted at March 07, 2025 0 comments (+)

I find it so strange when people become entitled because of their social status. When they recognize their position and superiority over others, they often disregard personal space and time. Their toxic traits are impossible to ignore. While these individuals may have the qualities of a good leader, that doesn’t justify acting entitled just because they hold power over others.

One day, my boss asked me to tag along after work to a local soccer match, just to take pictures. I didn’t mind doing it once, but of course, once wasn’t enough. Without hesitation, he asked me to come again as if I had no choice in the matter. The game was set for 11 PM, and I had to leave with them by 10 PM, just imagine how much of my time was wasted on something I wasn’t even interested in. Sure, people might argue that I could simply say no, but let’s be real intelligent people can read between the lines. When you're the boss, there's an unspoken pressure, and saying no isn’t always as easy as it seems. I just wish leadership came with more awareness. power and authority should be exercised with consideration for those below them.

Labels: experience, maldives, rant, work

Laamu Gan Posted at January 16, 2025 0 comments (+)

 A quick trip to Laamu Gan—it’s not my first time here, but every visit seems to bring a little moment of reflection. Even in such a short time, this island has a way of making me think about life. I love the beach here; it’s stunning and peaceful. Some of the locals are really kind, but I’ve also had my fair share of not-so-great experiences. I still can’t forget my first time here for work and how rude some of the hospital staff were to me.

Back then, I seriously doubted whether I could make it through life here in the Maldives. I kept second-guessing if this job was even the right fit for me. But looking at it now, it’s clear I’ve come a long way.

By the way, this trip feels unnecessary. I’m not sure why my boss tagged me along, especially since I’ve already done several training sessions at the hospital. Plus, these people have so many complaints about the product. Sometimes I really ask myself, why am I eve
n doing this? Lol.

Labels: maldives, office, work

faraway Island and extra thoughts Posted at January 05, 2025 0 comments (+)

I spent New Year’s with my colleagues on Hanimaadhoo Island. Honestly, I wasn’t too excited about it at first. I’m not great with big groups of people—they drain my energy, especially when I feel out of place. I had really hoped to spend New Year’s alone, in solitude. Maybe it sounds ungrateful, but that’s just how I felt.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I ended up having fun playing cards, and the food was good—though eating the same thing three times a day for three days straight did get old fast. By the end, I was so over it, but I guess that’s normal.

Still, I came back from the trip feeling completely drained. The thought of going back to work right after was just overwhelming.

For years, I’ve always spent Christmas and New Year’s alone. There’s something comforting about the solitude. But sometimes, I wish I could celebrat
e these occasions with my family somewhere special. I miss my mom’s cooking, the dishes I grew up with—my comfort food that brings back childhood memories. Those memories feel like a different lifetime, a time when everything seemed unchanging. It’s strange to think about how much life has shifted since then.

I suppose being this sentimental is forgivable, just this once.

Labels: island, maldives, thoughts

My 2024 Posted at December 31, 2024 0 comments (+)

This year, I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude. There are so many things I’m thankful for—blessings that seemed unending, many of which I never even expected. Looking back, it’s hard to believe how much has happened. I remember how 2024 began for me, with a whirlwind of emotions: hope that things would fall into place, frustration when they didn’t, heartbreak that I didn’t see coming, and so many dreams that felt both exciting and daunting. Now, as this year draws to a close, I’m filled with a deep sense of gratefulness—thankful to God for His unwavering love and endless grace.

I’m not perfect, and I don’t pretend to be. I’ve stumbled, I’ve struggled, and I’ve made mistakes. But I’m learning, growing, and striving to become a better version of myself. It’s a journey, and I remind myself every day that I am a work in progress. What amazes me the most is how, despite my imperfections, God has continued to bless me in ways I could never have imagined. His love feels like an anchor, steadying me even in the most uncertain times.

As the year closes, I’m working on letting go. It’s not easy. There are things—old wounds, unresolved emotions, and even grudges—that I’m still holding onto. Some of them are petty, and though I wish I could simply leave them behind, I know it’s a process. I’m only human, after all. Letting go of the hurt caused by people who’ve wronged me or the irritation from those who test my patience isn’t something that happens overnight. But I’m learning to rise above it, to let these things pass through me without consuming me.

When I think about 2025, I feel hopeful. I want to step into the new year with a bigger heart, a stronger spirit, and a more forgiving mindset. I want to embrace growth, even when it’s uncomfortable, and aim to be the best version of myself—not for anyone else but for me. I know it won’t be perfect, but that’s okay. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress.

Here’s to a new year of becoming, of healing, and of showing up for myself in ways I never have before. Prayers for my family, friends, and for all the people I hold dear in my heart. May this new year bring peace, love, and endless blessings to everyone I cherish. 

Labels: HAPPY NEW YEAR, Journal, journey

Damage Skin Posted at December 23, 2024 0 comments (+)

Some people feel the need to give unsolicited opinions, even when what they’re saying could be hurtful. Sure, it might be true, but for goodness’ sake, if you don’t have something kind to say, just don’t say anything at all. It might seem funny to you, but take a moment—think three times—about whether it’ll be funny to the person on the receiving end.

Making fun of someone’s appearance is beyond rude and insensitive. I can’t imagine ever doing that to someone. How can you shatter someone’s confidence just because you haven’t experienced their journey? It’s cruel, plain and simple.

Addy is honestly one of the worst people I know. He’s done this so many times—always has something to say about my appearance. And the thing is, I’d never do that to anyone, not even to him, because it’s just not kind. At the very least, have the decency to act like a decent human being. Oh well, I guess that’s just how he was raised.

And LOL, I still can’t figure out what his deal is. Why call out my skin texture? Yeah, it’s not perfect, and it’s never going to be perfect, but why even bring it up? He didn’t just mention it—he had to emphasize how “damaged” it is. Like, really? Hahaha. He even said something like, “You have damaged skin even though you use tons of skincare.” I was just sitting there, thinking, WTF is wrong with you, dude? That moment wanna punch his mouth ..

I felt so humiliated in front of everyone, and as if that wasn’t enough, he even called over another officemate to gang up on me. He started saying I must be stressed, and that’s why my skin is breaking out. Then, out of nowhere, he had the audacity to pitch some product he wanted me to try as a “sponsorship.” Seriously? Hahahahaha.

To be honest, I was so pissed at that moment. I could literally feel the heat rising from the back of my neck all the way to my head. I was sitting there wishing the ground would just swallow me whole, questioning my existence, like, Is this really happening right now?

I honestly have no words for this kind of person. There was a time when I’d feel so guilty even thinking something negative about him, but not anymore. No more regrets now.

Labels: maldives, office, work