I want to release the thoughts that have been weighing on me. There are times when I just want to let it all out, cry out loud, and scream. Yes, this time of the year tends to bring frustration and feelings of being down. I don't know why, but sometimes it feels like I'm being pathetic, and I can't help but think that life will always be unfair to me. Even though I try my best to stay strong and maintain a positive outlook on life, there's often a gap between recognizing and appreciating it. It's become a habit for me to focus on the negative aspects of my life, even though, in reality, it's not as bad as I sometimes make it out to be. I'm still fortunate compared to many others. So why do I feel this way? It's frustrating, and it has a lot to do with the people around me – family, friends, strangers, co-workers, and the people I share my life with.

I'm sensitive in a way that I feel the need to be mature. Do you understand what I mean? I mean that when someone offends me or others around me, I make an effort to collect myself and be mature about it, trying to understand their perspective. I think I'll always be this way, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm usually the one who remains composed and keeps my anger inside. Occasionally, though, I wish I could let loose and feel better after releasing all the pent-up frustration. But then, I know that such an attitude isn't appropriate and can lead to conflict and damage between parties. Still, I wonder why I feel this way and why I'm the one always thinking about the consequences of my actions, while others seem to do whatever they want without worry. Why can't I do the same? I'm frustrated with myself for being passive and feeling like a coward. Should I change myself? Why do I always try to fit in and sacrifice my inner peace for the sake of others' comfort? It's frustrating, and it often makes me feel like I'm being fake.

I'm frustrated with my family. I want to be a better provider for them, especially for my mom, who has made so many sacrifices for us. But even now, I feel like I can't do enough. I can provide for their basic needs, but I know it's not sufficient. It frustrates me because I feel like I'm not good enough for them. I'm the eldest, and I should be able to take care of them when they're facing difficulties. When they're not feeling well, I want to take them to the hospital right away, but instead, I find myself telling them not to worry and to ignore it. I feel useless and foolish for offering such excuses. I'm not afraid to spend all my savings on their well-being because they're my family, but I'm more afraid of discovering that they're seriously ill, and I can't do anything about it. It's incredibly frustrating, and I'd rather be penniless than see one of my family members suffer from illness and be unable to help because of financial constraints.

My work frustrates me too, and I'm disappointed in myself for feeling this way. I wonder why I'm not content with what I have and why I keep focusing on what I lack rather than appreciating my blessings every day. I tend to compare my life to that of my peers, and I get frustrated about what I don't have. I envy my friends and relatives who seem to be living fulfilling lives, and it leaves me wondering why it can't be me. Am I not deserving of such a life? I know it's not healthy to think this way, and it poisons my existence to the point where I want to be someone else rather than embracing who I am. What if I had a better job and a higher income? Maybe then, I could be a better provider, and everything else would fall into place. Now I realize that it often comes down to money, and money can indeed manipulate us. It can manipulate all of humanity, including me. They say money can't buy happiness, but to me, that's an old tale. After all, who doesn't need money when our entire world revolves around it? Our simple happiness can often be secured by money, and it's a basic necessity.

At the end of the day, these challenges are a part of my life. Maybe I'm not the only one experiencing these struggles, and I've learned that no matter how difficult things get, we shouldn't lose focus and should have faith. Faith can save us from the darkest moments. Sometimes, when you least expect it, a glimmer of hope appears and pulls you out of your lowest point. Regardless of what you believe in, whether it's your God or any other higher power, there's something common among us. I believe that if something is meant to happen, it will, but we should still strive to create our own path, achieve our goals, and keep moving forward. No one has a perfect life, and we all face struggles and setbacks, but the key is to stand up and rise above them.