Sunday, April 17, 2016
what makes you happy? Posted at 8:58 AM 2 comments (+)


What makes you happy?


What a dying person would think about this question? Is this question would define his/her existence before death occurs. 



What makes us realise how much time we actually had versus those people who's battling about their life Everyday..




I had a conversation to one person a few nights ago. She's a person who's actually dealing about her life Everyday. I didn't believe her until she explained about her condition. She got this terminal illness that shortened her life to a few or more years, let's say her life span is much shorter than the average person.  I didn't let her to talk or ask what was like her illness,  but according to her it runs to her family and she got it. She's been diagnosed two months before her 22years birthday.



I can't imagine how she feels like being diagnosed with this illness. My first time to hear this kind of struggle first hand from that person herself. This story gives me chills down my spine and fear somehow, fear for her? Fear for myself? What ifs etc 



After sharing her story to me, I was imagining how her life would be like after learning that she got it. It would be hard? Of course yes, even me having this kind of so called "crisis"  this would be a nightmare for me  and what more that she got it for real. So depressing for sure! She mentioned that she got this self mirror. I don't know what was that and what is for? Hmm maybe this medium is the way how she vent about her depression.



I asked her what makes her happy, she answered me back that was no particular things that make her happy. Practically what makes us happy are the same thing with her. Family, money, work, stress, being on bed to relax, all these things makes us happy but not as much happier than what she feels. All these things are normal stuff for us to fulfill the whole day but for her these things are precious memories that she's going to keep until the time of her death. 



I Asked her about her BUCKET LIST. For me living to a melodramatic world is like watching my favourite korean and local dramas. But I'm too naive about reality, about real life and how life supposed  to be for a normal people like her/us/me. Different perspective from a person diagnosed of a terminal illness and her life trapped on a time canister for a certain time period. For her , Having a bucket list couldn't be practical. For her view and she explained to me that what if she didn't make it to accomplish this list, you've have this feeling of regrets about not completing for something you supposed to do while you're still alive. Instead of dying happy, you die with full of regrets. Regretting isn't fulfilling after all and later on it hunts you for the next life, worse you become a lost soul 😐 this view really make sense for me and I realised "yeah, you have point" to make it change the ambiance about this convo, i tried to joke around by saying "you should have simple list, those attainable bucket list" hehe but then again i still don't know what's gonna be my own perspective until I'm experiencing the same situation like her.  can i overcome it the way how she accept it? Idk 😞



I was complaining about my life and what my future holds for me. And I didn't know there was someone  behind me battling for her life like a time bomb. How ironic that life would be unfair in so many way. I'm not here to judge life and the entire mystery of what life can give. I'm not contented and i will never be, because that's what life supposed to be... We have an endless needs,wishes,dreams,goals and mantrasI was complaining about my life and what my future holds for me. And I didn't know there was someone  behind me battling for her life like a time bomb. How ironic that life would be unfair in so many way. I'm not here to judge life and the entire mystery of what life can give. I'm not contented and I will never be, because that's what life supposed to be... We have an endless needs,wishes,dreams,goals and mantras but then again once we got all of these, we're starting again to strives for a new cycle of wishes and so on.. This is what I mean that's why I'm not contented but it doesn't mean that im not happy. Yes, I feel bad, stress, frustrated and failed about not achieving for what I want to get but these things are just a few stressors that make me a whole as a person. Eventually, life teaches me about realisation and like this conversation to someone who's totally stranger to me but then, life let me to know this person and other people around me as well.



Yes, this person got her balls that I suppose to have, because no matter what, she's able to live on her way and make herself adjusted  since life give her a very challenging role. I admire her for the courage, her perspective, strength and fighting spirit to overcome the twisted  plot that life imposed.



"Go with the flow" is the simplest things I've heard yet this statement is the most powerful.  I gotta do my things and be worried about tomorrow and I didn't realised  that I'm too drown out about my will to deal with life. Im not running out of time more than she does. I have a lot of time ahead of me than she had. So who am I to complain but instead I need to change my views and make my life easier and light. Be the simplest dude and yet keeps  the fire of aiming my dreams :) 



Hey you lady! If ever you've read this! I salute and admire you. I know whatever you feel and what illness you had, you're stronger than it.  I will keep in mind whatever    Views and realisation that you have shared with me. :)

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Be crazy. Be weird. Don't be afraid of what anybody thinks.

‡Gilbert/25/Singapore-Phil‡


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~Random thoughts~

People's opinions of you does not define who you are. Everyone has different opinions of you. Instead of trying to please everyone else, be happy with who you are. And if someone isn't happy with who you are, that's life. Not everyone is going to like you, accept it and move on. And be the best you, you can be.