Stranger Posted at October 17, 2024 0 comments (+)

 This isn’t my personal experience, but it resonates with me how strange and powerful words can be. I’ve known this person for a few years. While we don’t have a deep connection as friends, I got used to talking to him, mostly through chat. He’s a bit odd, sometimes even seeming erratic, and I’ve caught myself thinking he might have some kind of personality disorder.

The way he interacts with others and the words he uses are often inappropriate and unsettling. It’s just… strange.

I’ve even tried giving him advice on how to act and treat people properly, but he insists on doing things his own way. That’s his problem—he’s stubborn. Despite his age, he’s still fearful of certain things and has a lot of personal inhibitions.

Recently, we had what I thought was a good conversation, but looking back, maybe not. He was just laid off from his job after working at the company for seven years, and I could tell he was devastated. But honestly, he brought it on himself. He’s been toxic at work, constantly talking nonsense, using derogatory language, and provoking others. When I asked him about it, he just said he was “being himself.” I couldn’t help but think, “Seriously, what the hell?”

I’ve always given him advice, but I don’t think he ever really takes it in. Now, he's planning to go to Dubai because he has no other option, but before all this, he was full of himself—constantly telling everyone he was ready to quit anytime, even cursing the company. What happened to him now feels like pure karma, needless to say. He used to show off, bragging about his thousands of dollars, completely absorbed in his own ego. I can only hope he’s learned something from all this, though I doubt it.

The ironic part is that he’s going to Dubai to try to get back with his ex. She dumped him because he couldn't make the move to Dubai on his own, and I get it—he didn’t take the risk for her, so honestly, he deserved to be dumped in the first place. Now he’s trying to fix things, but it’s hard to say if he’s realized his mistakes.

Taking this chance to be with his ex seems like a red flag. I even asked him why he didn’t take the chance earlier, and he finally admitted that he felt insecure. Her family is well-established, and he felt like he didn’t measure up because of where he is in life.

I guess I can understand him on that point, but I told him it doesn’t really matter. The important thing is that the girl was willing to be with him. His ego, though, seems bigger than his intentions, and that’s what makes the whole situation so doubtful. It seems like he’s not really into her; he’s more excited about the idea of going to Dubai and is using that as an opportunity. The situation isn’t what it appears—he’s not going there with the true intention of being with her. He’s more in love with the convenience of it all than with the person herself.

 

Labels: life, people, story, stranger

My Current Predicament Posted at October 16, 2024 0 comments (+)

After passing the NCLEX, I was eager to move on to the next step: finding an agency that could help me secure an employer and process my visa. Unfortunately, this part has been really frustrating. I’ve spoken with several agencies, but many refused to process my application simply because I don’t have clinical experience. That was a tough reality to face.

Passing the NCLEX was a huge personal achievement, especially after multiple attempts. I thought that would be the hardest part, but finding a job in the U.S. has turned out to be even more challenging. I’m grateful that IPASS introduced me to an agency, but I’m starting to have doubts about their process. The agent I’m working with doesn’t seem very helpful or reliable when it comes to giving me clear instructions, which makes me feel a bit uneasy.

What’s adding to my insecurity is hearing from Mary, who constantly talks about how great and supportive her agency is. For example, I’m still confused about the CES report, which I need for visa processing. My agency didn’t explain its purpose clearly, and I only found out more about it after they referred me to a third-party service. I thought the documents they gave me were the same as the CES report from EEEOA and CGFNS, but now I’m not so sure.

Talking to Mary hasn’t helped ease my confusion either. She insists that CGFNS is the gold standard for obtaining the CES report. When I looked into it, I found that EEEOA and CGFNS do provide similar documentation, but what I read claims that CGFNS is more reliable for visa applications. When I asked my agent, he told me that I didn’t need the CGFNS CES report, and that the one from EEEOA is enough for visa screening.

At this point, I feel stuck and unsure. I’m confused about what’s really required.

Maybe I should have a little more faith in my agency. They probably know the process better than I do, but it’s hard not to feel uncertain sometimes.

I’ve also decided to stop talking to Mary about anything related to agencies or the visa process, just to avoid overthinking things. Because it’s not helping me, it made me feel confused and unsure if I’m on the right path with my agency.

Labels: america, NCLEX, USA, USRN

2ne1 Posted at October 10, 2024 0 comments (+)

It's so nostalgic to hear 2NE1's music after all these years. They're going on tour, and I can only wish to experience their music live. Whenever I hear their songs, I'm transported back to my college days at OLFU, especially the times spent with Athena and Gerlyn. Those memories bring so much happiness, even though life was simple yet challenging. I was struggling in school, at home, financially, and dealing with personal issues. But for a while, escaping to Athena’s dorm, listening to 2NE1, and just relaxing was the perfect getaway from it all.

Why do I feel sadness when I listen to them now? Their music is tied to so many core memories. While I know I’m happy to hear it, there’s this underlying feeling of nostalgia and bittersweet emotions that I can’t quite explain.

Maybe I just miss Athena and Gerlyn.

Labels: memories

Our destiny is shaped not just by fate Posted at October 02, 2024 0 comments (+)

The most satisfying moment in life often comes after enduring immense effort, countless sleepless nights, racing thoughts, and the aching desire for something that feels just out of reach. It’s not that you lose faith, but the journey ahead can sometimes seem endless, as though the goal remains a distant dream no matter how hard you try. You wrestle with self-doubt, wondering if it’s all worth it. But then, after all the struggles, after all the moments where giving up seemed easier, you finally reach the goal. The sense of freedom that follows is overwhelming, as if a weight you’ve carried for so long is finally lifted.

The path to success is never smooth. It's filled with obstacles, challenges, and moments that test your resilience in ways you could never have imagined. Rejections and setbacks pile up, making you question whether the sacrifice will ever pay off. But deep down, there is this belief that someday, all of this will be worth it. Even when the road feels uncertain, the important thing is to give your best, to keep moving forward, and to show up for yourself, no matter the circumstances.

People often say, “If it’s meant for you, it will happen.” While there is some truth to this, it doesn’t mean you should sit back and wait for fate to unfold. Prayers, faith, and hard work are all intertwined. Our destiny is shaped not just by fate, but by the efforts we put in, the determination we show, and the way we navigate life’s challenges. It is our belief in ourselves, our relentless pursuit of our dreams, and the strength of our faith that move mountains.

No matter how impossible things may seem, there’s a power in believing—in knowing that with faith, perseverance, and unwavering determination, anything is possible. Prayers really do move mountains, and with each step, no matter how small, you get closer to the life you’ve been fighting for. The key is to never stop believing in the beauty of what’s possible.

The people around us play a crucial role in helping us overcome life’s challenges. Their support, encouraging words, genuine affirmation, and pure intentions are some of the most valuable sources of energy we can draw from. This positive energy fuels our determination and desire to keep moving forward, even when the road seems tough. The universe, in its mysterious ways, provides us with these connections to help propel us toward our goals.

That’s why it’s so important to be intentional about the people you surround yourself with. Choose those who genuinely uplift you, those whose presence brings out the best in you, and who are invested in your growth. It’s not about having a large circle but about having the right people in your corner—people who are aligned with your values and your journey. It’s okay if that circle is small; sometimes, a few genuine companions can make all the difference. Trust your instincts, follow your gut, and listen to your heart when it comes to building your support system.

And when you do reach that moment of success, it’s more than okay to celebrate. Many of us, myself included, sometimes hold back from fully embracing our accomplishments. We may feel a small hesitation or even guilt about taking pride in our success, as if celebrating too loudly might somehow diminish it. But the truth is, there’s nothing wrong with proudly acknowledging your hard-earned achievements. You’ve put in the work, the sweat, and the tears—it’s only right that you allow yourself the joy of that moment. Success deserves to be celebrated, and so do you.

Labels: journey, life, NCLEX

Faith and Resilience: My NCLEX Journey Posted at September 30, 2024 0 comments (+)

 Hi there,

It's been a while since I've shared my thoughts. I guess I was feeling exhausted, and maybe even a bit too lazy to express it. The past few months, weeks, and days have been an emotional roller coaster. Looking back, those days were really rough, and at times I even lost hope that I would be able to overcome the challenges I chose to face. But here I am now, standing victorious, and I am humbly grateful to God for the blessings He has given me.

Finally, I passed my NCLEX exam! I still can't wrap my head around it because the whole experience was so draining. I vividly remember how exhausting the actual exam was, and being able to answer all 150 questions felt like a pure miracle. I had been sick the week leading up to the exam, and even during the test, I had an itchy throat, which made it painful to keep going. On top of that, I couldn't get a proper night's sleep before the exam—I was so anxious that I couldn’t fall asleep. But I guess prayers and faith really can move mountains.

I’m so thankful to my friends who have been by my side throughout this journey. Words can't fully express my gratitude. Mary has been such a wonderful person in my life; she was genuinely overjoyed that I passed the exam. Athena stood by me in those moments when I doubted myself, listening to my struggles as if she didn't have her own challenges in Germany. My sisters have been constantly praying for me. And to all my other friends who have been there for me—I am truly grateful.

God’s presence is undeniable. His plan is far more wonderful than anything I could have planned for myself. His rejections have truly been redirections, just like I once read: delays are not denials, so trust the process. This phase has reminded me that God has always been by my side, even during the toughest times. Yes, I’ve faced many rejections over the past years, and there were moments when I felt upset, wondering why I had to go through all of this. I may have questioned God at times, but deep down, I always knew I trusted Him more.

The NCLEX journey wasn’t smooth for me. I spent countless hours studying, but there were times when it felt like all my effort wasn’t good enough. I found myself stuck in a loop of procrastination, distracted by social media, my job, and even doing nothing at all, which only made it harder for me to focus on studying. It was tough. The sleepless nights felt like they didn’t make much difference, especially knowing this was my third attempt.

After the exam, I thought, “This is it. I don’t think I’m going to make it.” As much as I wanted to stay optimistic, I felt that this exam was the hardest one yet. I kept telling myself how difficult it was, and I still can’t believe that I actually passed.

Reading the result while standing in line at immigration was nerve-wracking. The rush of sweat through my body was insane, and I felt chills running down my spine. I was shaking, desperately wanting to talk to Mary, but she didn’t answer my calls at 5:30 in the morning. It all felt unreal—the pride of passing the exam was beyond words.

I humbly thank the Lord for His guidance and abundant grace. I am far from perfect, with so many flaws, yet His wonderful blessing was so unexpected. Thank you, Lord. Psalm 27:1

Gilbert S. Pagunaling, PhRN, USRN (Sept 25, 2024)

Labels: Exam, NCLEX, thoughts

Expectations Posted at June 01, 2024 0 comments (+)

 

You know what's funny and frustrating at the same time? People in the office expect so much from me just because I'm a nurse. They think I can diagnose someone instantly, as if I'm supposed to have all the answers right away! LOL. And on top of that, they expect me to go the extra mile if someone is sick in the office. Why should I stress myself out over things I can't control?

Recently, one of my colleagues was hospitalized with dengue, and many of my officemates have been really invested and busy looking after him, which is nice of them. I visited him too, but I can't spend all my time at the hospital taking care of him. Our accountant, a Sri Lankan guy, has been particularly mean and always makes derogatory jokes about it. He says things like, "You're the nurse here; you should do this and that." Most of the time, I don't find it funny—it's actually really annoying. I have my own responsibilities, and if I help out, it's because I want to, not because I'm told to. This person has been particularly toxic for me.

The other day, Amila was having knee pain, and Addy pointed me out, saying, "Oh, here's Gilbert, he's a nurse," implying that I should take a look. So I started assessing Amila, asking about the pain—how it felt, if he did anything before the pain started, if it was a constant pain, and so on. They weren't taking me seriously and thought I was just messing around. It was mind-blowing how clueless they were about how diagnoses are supposed to work. You can't just say something without properly assessing the person.

I'm not the best nurse, but I'm trying to be good at this profession. However, I'm not even practicing nursing here to begin with.

Labels: maldives, office, work

Vision board 2024 Posted at May 21, 2024 0 comments (+)

 

Labels: goal, life