hello there! I had a good memories back in June. I'm been in Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam and that was a short trip because we were literally hopping to a different country in 6 days. it was a nice experience for me. and I will cherish those memories for my entire life because I didn't expect to travel to those places, although traveling was my greatest dream and but doing it in reality was kinda surreal and fulfilling because that's my hard earned money. And dude!traveling was everyone's dream and who's not right?! :)

 And how I wish going to different places is free. it's so nice doing those things you really like and make the most of it with yourself and your friends.

I got a lot of realization  while doing that tour.

*life is less serious when you choose to. just be happy and enjoy what you have. its not just about having a lot of money. yes?! probably money make us happy in a way, we can do whatever we want, buy those things we like and of course for us to be able to live and survive. but the more we try to chase the money or strive to have more than what we have tends to make us more vulnerable to be unhappy and unappreciated about single things. I know it's a frustration and depression because you/we are not able to have it, you/we felt that losing the chance is the same as losing our happiness lays on the money. probably I'm not the right person to tell this because I'm just 26yrs old and I'm still in the middle of my life and journeying what life could be for the next few years. I'm not YET successful and even have a stable and firm job to say these things and I'm also one of those people who are chasing after it and who's not? but like what I said LIFE IS LESS SERIOUS when we choose to. looking back to this statement maybe after years, I want to test myself if I would feel the same thing now versus later. well, we will see it. and see for my self. hehe I don't know why I'm doing this, why I'm saying these things.  it's so funny because I'm preaching about being happy without money or just being contended in spite of being struggling to have it more hehe ironic!  coming for me and coming to an average guy like me who's aiming to have nice, comfortable and unimaginably life because of the art of money is now stating these words and act as I'm not struggling  about  it

actually I admired to those people who been living in a simplest way. those people whose very dedicated to achieving their goals no matter what happened. I knew some of them personally and it makes me think why I don't have this kind of perseverance and will. yes!? i have goals and dreams but I have more time about worrying certain things and be depressed in quite sometimes. I have this attitude for the longest time. there's a time that I'm very motivated and very energetic to go after those goals and dreams but after a while, those mantras that I set on my mind was fading in every single day that had passed. but these people, their dedications has been never stopped in spite of achieving certain pleasure and rewards along the way. they still have the fire to get what they want. And that's very commendable and inspiring.

Hello there! and hello 2016 - so much expectation this year, a lot of wishes, goals, and dreams. Ang dami kong ineexpect this year. Makapag travel, makahanap ng ibang work, more hook-ups hahaha joke. but seriously yung relationship na pwde kong itressure. well 2016 na what's new hahaha. but I feel it, soon hahahaha, the question is how soon? hahaha okay let's stop this.

lately sobra akong interested sa mga tutorial sa youtube, may napanuod akong vlog about traveling and I'm dying bacause I'm supposed to be there hahaha joke. seriously gusto ko gawin yung mag travel from now on. yung pakiramdam na free ka and you have free mind to explore everything. free soul and free life kahit saglit lang makawala ka sa problema mo. how i wish to live in a worry less world. free of anything that can stress me. but that world doesn't exist at all :)  bacause life is useless without problems. that's my mantra

this year I will try to be a good person as I can. no more hate, hatred, envy, and I want to be happy. pero parang ang hirap panindigan hahahaha. I just noticed when I get older that I become more sensitive and concern about my life. is this a mid-life crisis? haha is that too early for me? :) hahaha. like what I want to be this year, sometimes it's so hard to be that person, thou that changes are for your own maturity and well-being as a Individual. okay this is me talking about changes haha? Anyway, minsan di ako makaramdam ng contentment and I'm guilty because I can't see how blessed I am. that's the things that I need to working on. also need to stop comparing myself to other people. stop procrastinate everything, do it as soon as possible and be punctual. at this Aged, I had a lot of things inside me that I need to pay attention, bad habits, bad attitude and everything about me that need changes. should I stop wishing things that everything that I see to other people are supposed to be me? wishing that I have what they have, who they are and everything they have experience are maybe me and should be me because I deserved it too? I'm too greedy not to feel happy for other persons :( and I'm not happy because  this is me living on that attitude and I want to change it. yes because it's 2016 and everyone has been changing already. I'm not saying that I need to change because they're changing. I want to change for my own benefits and be a better person. when I'm able to be happy and accept what I have, I think that's the time that I can be contented and don't feel anything toward other people.

first, I was okay but suddenly I felt this way again. "that feelings" that I don't want to feel anymore. why is the hell happening to me? really, I'm asking this to myself. seriously it brings a lot of crap on me.  I'm worried about everything, about my life, about my future, and tons of issues back in manila.  really. I've felt lost and unwanted in so many ways. 

Bakit ganoon, hindi ako makuntento kung ano ang meron ako. hinahanap ko yung mga bagay na wala ako. nag-iisip ako ng malayo at pinangungunahan ko ang hinaharap. hindi ko maiwasan na wag mag isip at mag alala ng mga bagay bagay na  hindi ko naman dapat iniintindihin. pero hindi ko makuha na wag mag alala, Natatakot ako na baka dumating yung oras na lugmok na ako at hindi naman ako naging masaya.  

career wise, right now I felt lost, really - iniisip ko kung bakit hindi ko itinuloy yung pagiging nurse after collage at nung pumasa ako, kaya ngayon ang dami kong regrets. bakit pa kasi kailangan ko unahin yung pera kaysa sa gusto ko kaya ito ako ngayon naliligaw ako. for my past career, ni tingin ko hindi naman ako nag grow as perso. yung apat na taon ko sa accenture eh parang nasayang lang, ni hindi naman ako umangat, tapos biglang shift ako ng work career as nursing aide ang tanong okay ba at worth it? in some points okay naman eh, kaya lang di pa rin maalis sa isip ko na hindi pa din sapat yung kung anong meron ako ngayon since kailangan ko supportahan ang mga kapatid at pamilya ko. 

gusto kong maranasan yung maging okay sa lahat, maging stable sa lahat ng bagay. wala naman perpektong buhay, alam ko lahat ng tao may problema pero bakit ako nahihirapan? pakiramdam ko ang unfair, hindi ko na nga nagawa yung gusto ko sa buhay at nag iba na rin ako ng path para lang mag trabaho pero ganoon pa din. yung kaonteng pera na kinikita ko eh hindi pa din sapat para sa amin. ano ba naman yung maging stable ako sa trabaho at maging good provider ako sa bahay pero nahihiya ako sa pamilya ko. hindi ko sila mabigyan ng maganda at komportableng buhay. sarili kong kasiyahan hindi ko na din mahanap sa panahon na ito.

really, siguro sa lahat ng post ko dito sa blog na 'to mabibilang lang kung kailan ako naging masaya.  naiinis ako sa sarili ko kung bakit ako ganito.  Nagdadasal naman ako at nag papasalamat kay God regarding sa mga blessings ko. yes i'm Blessed in so many ways, minsan nga hindi ko nakikita yun at nahihiya ako kay God kasi puro na lang ako reklamo at hindi makontento. maswerte ako at nandito ako sa singapore nakaka pag trabaho pero iniisip ko hindi pa din sapat. ang dami kong gustong gawin sa buhay. ang dami king plano na hindi ko alam sa magsisimula. pag mag iisip ako ng plano at mag sisimulang maghanap ng way bigla naman mawawala yung kaonte kong pag asa. sabi naman ni abby kaya daw ako ganito kasi feeling ko wala akong makakapitan. siguro tama sya ni taong mag mamahal sakin wala nga eh. yung taong pwede kong makasabay mangarap at bumuo ng buhay. sa ganitong aspeto din alam ko naliligaw na din ako. nahihirapan na din ako makabalik at natatakot akong baka maiwan ako at manatili na lang doon.

I think I was challenged by God. Iniisip nya kung hanggang saan ako tatagal. alam ko pag subok lang to malalagpasan ko to. magiging matatag ako.  aasa at patuloy akong mangangarap :)

Please gusto ko mawala lahat ng agam agam sa puso ko.