Friday, August 17, 2012
Love story and its over Posted at 12:00 AM 1 comments (+)

"missing me"

I love the way it feels when you touch my hand
Don't wanna let you go
I love the way you say that I am your man
Don't understand why we can't go on and go on
Don't understand why
You don't belong in my arms
Ohh
And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight 
Would you come back to me
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me

It's funny how my heart just won't let it go
I just don't understand
It's crazy how the pain seems to overflow
The memories of you here with me by my side
I can't deny that you are the love of my life

Ohh
And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight 
Would you come back to me
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me
And I still cry for you
And I would die for you
I can't believe all the words I heard you say
And I still long for you
And I was strong for you
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away

I still cry for you
I would die for you
I can't believe all the words I heard you say
I still long for you
I was strong for you
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away





This song reminds me that there is a point in my life that I am down because of LOVE. Yeah i know.  Its kinda corny and funny, but don’t deny it, every one of us have this kind of experience when we’re in love. Is there a happy feeling when you remembered this right? :)

This is a random post J


I’ll share my short story that is about LOVE. 
Haha yeah corny and funny but I just want to share my dramatic and tragic love story lol J
Well, I been in love to my high school friend since the day I met her. Super curly hair like “igorot or ita” just like that, skinny, morena and pointed nose and that is how I described her before.   I just met her on my 3rd year in high school and that day, her eyes caught me and I realized that her eyes is the most beautiful than others J hahaha lol.  I seated beside her and that time I just want to be her friend  since im newbie there.

Tahimik lang ako nung una kasi kakapasok ko pa lang sa section nila. Along the way we become friends, naalala ko pa nga nung mejo palagay na yung loob ko sa section namin at nakahanap na din ako ng mga kaibigan mejo di na ako nahihiya . lagi ko pa nga xa inaasar noon na Volta kc kulot nga xa hehe bully lang J we become good friends.

However, there is a time that we are hated each other, to the point that we dropped some harsh words. Childish thingsJ. That time I just felt something special about her and I denied it or maybe I just don’t entertained that feelings because im not open for that issue. Immature pa ako noon L kaya ito foreveralone hahaha.

At first, I am not sure if this feeling is really love or just a puppy love. were been close all throughout as FRIENDS. Well wala naman sa isip ko yung ligawan or whatever, ang dami ko din kasing insecurity that time. Until we reached college and being totally away from her.

One time out of nowhere she texted me about something that she need to confess. She is always open to me. She shares everything to me “secrets and lies” that is why I felt so special because she put too much trust on me. Even though I’m not her BFF (she have two sissy) but still she tells everything. Because of that trust, i had I chances to tell her that I really love her since then.  Di ko alam kung ano yung pwedeng mangyari after that confession. Di nya sinabi na she felt the same things pero nandun ung idea na special ako for her,

There is no chance for romantic relationship between us, naghintayan din kasi kaya walang nangyari and I admit it na kasalanan ko din. Pero nan doon yung katotohanan na pinaasa nya akoL na akala ko pag nag hintay ako merun akong mapapalala. Pakiramdam na nakakapit ako sa isang bagay na kahit anong oras pwedeng mabasag.

6yrs of unwanted feelings, ganyan yung pakiramadam ko all these years. Yung nag eemo ako dahil may boyfriends sya, natutunaw ako twing nag kkwento sya about her boo. Napaka insensitive kaya nya. Yung parang joke time lang yung nararamdaman ko. Nakakainis kaya yun. Tapos out of nowhere bigla syang magtetext na “wag ko daw syang iwan” “hintayin ko daw sya” and “ako na lang daw nag mamahal sa kanya” , yung mga ganyan sentiment. Nakakainis db kasi pinaasa nya ako.. hirap kaya maka move on!

When i actually catch her staring at me .
at first, i pretend that i didnt noticed her but deep inside my heart,  gives me goose bumps because of too much happiness .

It is so hard for me to move on, because I really love her. One time she is being ask if she loves me, and then she tells to everyone that there is point that I’m special and husband material pero “di pang display sa MALL at ayaw nya daw ako masaktan” F*ck lang di ba? Kaya pakiramdam ko nun ang panget ko at wala akong karapatan mahalin.

I've been depressed for a month and I refused to see her, ayaw ko syang Makita kasi pakiramdam ko I’m not worth it. Kailangan may patunayan ako sa kanya ganun yung pakiramdam ko. Nung di ako nakapasa sa board exam, di man lang nya ako dinamayan yung tipong “ok lng yan pagu may next time naman ee” and sama kaya ng loob ko noon. I always on here back, may suporta ako sa kanya , mga advice ko as friend pero nung ako na yung may kailangan ng suporta, di man lang makuhang magtext or tumawag.  

Well after that tragic and dramatic love story, now I must say that I already moved on. Now, I know how to handle my feelings toward her. And we’re good friends after all. Hahaha alam ko naman na mas ok na yung magkaibigan kami. Ang saya pala ng pakiramdam na Malaya ka na sa isang pakiramdam na nag papahirap sayo. PROMISE masaya ako kung anong kalagayan nya. At mas masaya ako kung makakahanap sya ng mas magmamahal sa kanya hehehe.


now I am foreveralone :) i'm still longing for someone maybe along the way i find someone who really care for me,i'll just give my self space and time to process everything. for now happy at ok naman ako but the fact that im alone yun lang yung nakakalungkot dun ayaw ko naman mag hanap ng iba for thesake of not being alone. napaka immature at unfair yun.hahaha yun yun oh! :)





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Be crazy. Be weird. Don't be afraid of what anybody thinks.

‡Gilbert/25/Singapore-Phil‡


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Welcome to my world of ramblings as well as my daily life journal. So here you will find post about life,experiences,random ideas and dramas.


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