I really admire my cousin for being so patient, selfless, and dedicated to both her mom and brother. But it’s unfair that she’s the only one taking care of them, while her brother doesn’t even offer to help, especially since their mom is still okay after her mild stroke. He’s just so irresponsible and selfish.

She’s been struggling financially ever since. She owes me money, but honestly, I’m not worried about that—I just want her to be debt-free.

Life can be so complicated, and everyone has their own struggles. My cousin is doing her best to survive and find happiness, and I don’t judge her for whatever makes her happy, even if others have opinions about it.

I feel so lucky to have a job that pays well, even though I still dream of finding something better and aiming higher for the future. But I know that God works in mysterious ways to bless me. The rejections I’ve faced in the past turned out to be blessings in disguise.

Sometimes, I feel bad when I get overwhelmed by small things that don’t go my way. But I’ve realized those moments are just reminders to appreciate what I have and the success that God has in store for me. It’s all part of the journey.

Labels: blessing, cousin, debt, story

 This isn’t my personal experience, but it resonates with me how strange and powerful words can be. I’ve known this person for a few years. While we don’t have a deep connection as friends, I got used to talking to him, mostly through chat. He’s a bit odd, sometimes even seeming erratic, and I’ve caught myself thinking he might have some kind of personality disorder.

The way he interacts with others and the words he uses are often inappropriate and unsettling. It’s just… strange.

I’ve even tried giving him advice on how to act and treat people properly, but he insists on doing things his own way. That’s his problem—he’s stubborn. Despite his age, he’s still fearful of certain things and has a lot of personal inhibitions.

Recently, we had what I thought was a good conversation, but looking back, maybe not. He was just laid off from his job after working at the company for seven years, and I could tell he was devastated. But honestly, he brought it on himself. He’s been toxic at work, constantly talking nonsense, using derogatory language, and provoking others. When I asked him about it, he just said he was “being himself.” I couldn’t help but think, “Seriously, what the hell?”

I’ve always given him advice, but I don’t think he ever really takes it in. Now, he's planning to go to Dubai because he has no other option, but before all this, he was full of himself—constantly telling everyone he was ready to quit anytime, even cursing the company. What happened to him now feels like pure karma, needless to say. He used to show off, bragging about his thousands of dollars, completely absorbed in his own ego. I can only hope he’s learned something from all this, though I doubt it.

The ironic part is that he’s going to Dubai to try to get back with his ex. She dumped him because he couldn't make the move to Dubai on his own, and I get it—he didn’t take the risk for her, so honestly, he deserved to be dumped in the first place. Now he’s trying to fix things, but it’s hard to say if he’s realized his mistakes.

Taking this chance to be with his ex seems like a red flag. I even asked him why he didn’t take the chance earlier, and he finally admitted that he felt insecure. Her family is well-established, and he felt like he didn’t measure up because of where he is in life.

I guess I can understand him on that point, but I told him it doesn’t really matter. The important thing is that the girl was willing to be with him. His ego, though, seems bigger than his intentions, and that’s what makes the whole situation so doubtful. It seems like he’s not really into her; he’s more excited about the idea of going to Dubai and is using that as an opportunity. The situation isn’t what it appears—he’s not going there with the true intention of being with her. He’s more in love with the convenience of it all than with the person herself.

Labels: life, people, story, stranger

Uncle from Punggol. When I saw him, he was like the happy person I've met. He was smiling to everyone and make a thumbs up sign like seems everything are okay. Uncle was a stoked patient and his half  body  is like a lifeless thing attached to his own extremities.

I've found him cool and kind. When we're about to leave at The hospital, he was crying while talking to one of the nurses there because he thinks that no one there will want to see him, that was cute hahaha. Uncle bit disoriented sometimes and confused but most of the time he was alert and responsive. 

He had 4 childrens and I see them as a united family. And I witnessed also how they are concerned to their parents and How they loved them. His daughter "Charlene" I like her because I know how she love his father and I saw it when she's  talking, cuddling and touching him  They're like cartoons and they are very funny.  Auntie also is a funny person that's why I'm shocked when her daughter tells me that auntie was a schizophrenic and uncle had depression before. Now there was no traced of being like them before and now they are okay. I asked Charlene how she managed that situation since she was living with them alone because all of his brothers are been married and living with their own family. She was like a wonder woman taking care of her parents while she also needs to work. It was like a big challenge for her the past 2 years when the time her mom got a mental ill and her dad has a suicide attempt. And that times she also wants to break down because everything are her responsibilities now. How tough it is right?! 

I admired those people who taking care their parents when they are old enough. You know here in Singapore eventually when they get married they want to have their own house and their parents will be alone at home or they send them on a nursing homes. The family ties here is somehow not that strong.  But us Pilipinos, we can shout all over the world that we have strong family ties. And that's one of our traits that we're proud of.

Uncle and I doing his exercise routine

when we went in Malaysia, that was my first step in Malaysia :D

Labels: life, Nursing aide, punggol, Singapore, story, uncle, work

I love the way it feels when you touch my hand

Don't wanna let you go

I love the way you say that I am your man

Don't understand why we can't go on and go on

Don't understand why

You don't belong in my arms

Ohh

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight 

Would you come back to me

And even if I walked on the water

Would you come out to sea

Now I can't spend my life standing by

Cause even when I miss you

You're still not missing me

It's funny how my heart just won't let it go

I just don't understand

It's crazy how the pain seems to overflow

The memories of you here with me by my side

I can't deny that you are the love of my life

Ohh

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight 

Would you come back to me

And even if I walked on the water

Would you come out to sea

Now I can't spend my life standing by

Cause even when I miss you

You're still not missing me

And I still cry for you

And I would die for you

I can't believe all the words I heard you say

And I still long for you

And I was strong for you

I can't believe that you'd throw it all away

I still cry for you

I would die for you

I can't believe all the words I heard you say

I still long for you

I was strong for you

I can't believe that you'd throw it all away

This song reminds me that there is a point in my life that I am down because of LOVE. Yeah i know.  Its kinda corny and funny, but don’t deny it, every one of us have this kind of experience when we’re in love. Is there a happy feeling when you remembered this right? :)

This is a random post J

I’ll share my short story that is about LOVE. 

Haha yeah corny and funny but I just want to share my dramatic and tragic love story lol J

Well, I been in love to my high school friend since the day I met her. Super curly hair like “igorot or ita” just like that, skinny, morena and pointed nose and that is how I described her before.   I just met her on my 3^rd year in high school and that day, her eyes caught me and I realized that her eyes is the most beautiful than others J hahaha lol.  I seated beside her and that time I just want to be her friend  since im newbie there.

Tahimik lang ako nung una kasi kakapasok ko pa lang sa section nila. Along the way we become friends, naalala ko pa nga nung mejo palagay na yung loob ko sa section namin at nakahanap na din ako ng mga kaibigan mejo di na ako nahihiya . lagi ko pa nga xa inaasar noon na Volta kc kulot nga xa hehe bully lang J we become good friends.

However, there is a time that we are hated each other, to the point that we dropped some harsh words. Childish thingsJ. That time I just felt something special about her and I denied it or maybe I just don’t entertained that feelings because im not open for that issue. Immature pa ako noon L kaya ito foreveralone hahaha.

At first, I am not sure if this feeling is really love or just a puppy love. were been close all throughout as FRIENDS. Well wala naman sa isip ko yung ligawan or whatever, ang dami ko din kasing insecurity that time. Until we reached college and being totally away from her.

One time out of nowhere she texted me about something that she need to confess. She is always open to me. She shares everything to me “secrets and lies” that is why I felt so special because she put too much trust on me. Even though I’m not her BFF (she have two sissy) but still she tells everything. Because of that trust, i had I chances to tell her that I really love her since then.  Di ko alam kung ano yung pwedeng mangyari after that confession. Di nya sinabi na she felt the same things pero nandun ung idea na special ako for her,

There is no chance for romantic relationship between us, naghintayan din kasi kaya walang nangyari and I admit it na kasalanan ko din. Pero nan doon yung katotohanan na pinaasa nya akoL na akala ko pag nag hintay ako merun akong mapapalala. Pakiramdam na nakakapit ako sa isang bagay na kahit anong oras pwedeng mabasag.

6yrs of unwanted feelings, ganyan yung pakiramadam ko all these years. Yung nag eemo ako dahil may boyfriends sya, natutunaw ako twing nag kkwento sya about her boo. Napaka insensitive kaya nya. Yung parang joke time lang yung nararamdaman ko. Nakakainis kaya yun. Tapos out of nowhere bigla syang magtetext na “wag ko daw syang iwan” “hintayin ko daw sya” and “ako na lang daw nag mamahal sa kanya” , yung mga ganyan sentiment. Nakakainis db kasi pinaasa nya ako.. hirap kaya maka move on!

When i actually catch her staring at me .

at first, i pretend that i didnt noticed her but deep inside my heart,  gives me goose bumps because of too much happiness .

It is so hard for me to move on, because I really love her. One time she is being ask if she loves me, and then she tells to everyone that there is point that I’m special and husband material pero “di pang display sa MALL at ayaw nya daw ako masaktan” F*ck lang di ba? Kaya pakiramdam ko nun ang panget ko at wala akong karapatan mahalin.

I've been depressed for a month and I refused to see her, ayaw ko syang Makita kasi pakiramdam ko I’m not worth it. Kailangan may patunayan ako sa kanya ganun yung pakiramdam ko. Nung di ako nakapasa sa board exam, di man lang nya ako dinamayan yung tipong “ok lng yan pagu may next time naman ee” and sama kaya ng loob ko noon. I always on here back, may suporta ako sa kanya , mga advice ko as friend pero nung ako na yung may kailangan ng suporta, di man lang makuhang magtext or tumawag.  

Well after that tragic and dramatic love story, now I must say that I already moved on. Now, I know how to handle my feelings toward her. And we’re good friends after all. Hahaha alam ko naman na mas ok na yung magkaibigan kami. Ang saya pala ng pakiramdam na Malaya ka na sa isang pakiramdam na nag papahirap sayo. PROMISE masaya ako kung anong kalagayan nya. At mas masaya ako kung makakahanap sya ng mas magmamahal sa kanya hehehe.

now I am foreveralone :) i'm still longing for someone maybe along the way i find someone who really care for me,i'll just give my self space and time to process everything. for now happy at ok naman ako but the fact that im alone yun lang yung nakakalungkot dun ayaw ko naman mag hanap ng iba for thesake of not being alone. napaka immature at unfair yun.hahaha yun yun oh! :)

Labels: love, personal, story

 nosebleed na ako >_<  i hope this night maging ok na lahat . if that speculation is true? so this will be the start for the end of the world, no way. and i wish that's not true. sa ngayon faith and prayers ang pwedeng gawin. i know god will never let us suffer and i believed that every one of us is guided by him.

Labels: country, idea, personal, storm, story

yess! . used this moment as positive effect. well, i am looking forward to find new job. and i am praying so hard for that. and i am always thankful to accenture to be my training ground . and be my family for almost 1year and also serve as my 2nd choice between my profession as nurse.

Labels: accenture, personal, story