life is not just so simple as we think. maybe we just have fun for while but afterward we need to go back in  reality. this is just ironic and redundant on my part. maybe i'm too scared to step forward to make move for myself. most of the time i'm just being lazy to do those goal, so can't blame anyone if i just stuck here alone.

"nakakabaliw, nakakatakot, at mukhang tanga lang ang pakiramdam pag alam mong paranoid ka na sa lahat ng bagay." yung takot ka kasi alam mong sooner or later mag isa ka na lang at di mo namamalayan na wala na pala sila. iniisip ko kung kailan ako magsisimula para masimulan yung goal ko. mag kakaroon lang ako ng drive pag alam kong may aalis na or makakaramdam ako ng depression, saka ko lang maiisip na "kailangan ko din palang umalis o gumawa ng paraan para di maiwan kung nasaan man ako ngayon"  ugaling di ko maiwan. eventually makalipas lang ilang araw, makakalimot uli ako na parang walang nangyari" (this is so Emo >_<)

~ now i'm still enjoying life :) so kaya nakalimot ako bigla na kailangan ko palang mag step forward. and now i'm being alarmed again for some reason O_O oh life! why you so hard. hahaha anyway i'll just let it go and go for the flow. i know life won't be so easy anymore and i need to deal with it.

ang panget lang ng pakiramdam ko this past few days. parang ang lungkot lang pakiramdam ko T_T

yung tipong ang bigat ng dala dala ko. tapos napaka nostalgic ng paningin ko. :( ewan ko ba? sobra lang siguro ang nararamdaman kong pag ka bored sa buhay. yung tipong pati sa trabaho tinatamad na din ako. parang ayaw ko ng pumasok dahil sobra akong nabbored at toxic sa office. ang empty empty ng pakiramdam ko lately. Depression

pag uwian galing work. parang nakakatamad mag lakad. ang lungkot pa ng pakiramdam sa byahe. yung marami akong naiisip ng mga bagay (flashback) tapos sasabayan ba ng lecheng mellow music and love song T_T lalong nakaka boost ng depression at ngayon umuulan pa :( this is a sign of depression and maybe leading to suicide? this can't be happening hahaha. 

"maybe, i miss being with someone? my friends.they're all busy with their own lives and this is the time i need to think my own life too. move and step forward. i dunno, but i keep thinking for future and gives a hard time to digest everything. some of them had their own way for better tomorrow, but me still stuck up for where i started. frustrating thou."

"current status : my left chest feels uneasy and heavy"

"maybe, this is my way to reflect and collect those feelings. emptiness and being emotional isn't a sign of weakness. anybody could possibly feel the same thing.Sometimes a smile isn't a smile, it’s a projection of pain being endured at its finest But seriously.Most of the times it is true."

"can't promise but i won't be sad this week. think positive and i'll try to be happy no matter what"